so the other day I hosted a playground circuit workout.
and I think I smelled a little like a porta potty.
at first I thought it was the porta potty. there was one at the playground.
but then I left the playground and occasionally I still smelled the potty part.
I kept sniffing. Sniffing myself, my children, my hands, my keys, my clothes. And sometimes; there it was. porta potty.
How does one acquire such an odor? Confession:
I participate in what some would call questionable workout clothing treatment. I wash after every two workouts. What??? you scream!!! that’s gross!! Well, it saves me from doing laundry every day. I’m just going to sweat in those clothes again. It’s always my sweat, I don’t loan out my workout clothes. And its hard on clothes to wash them after every wear. Aannd, I just cannot get over washing something I’ve only been in for two hours, regardless of what transpired during those two hours. So shoot me. I wash after two workouts. You can’t change me, don’t try. Me and dirt, we’re down.
So, it is possible one of my pieces of clothing had worked through more than two workouts. maybe. my hook-in-the-closet system might not be full-proof. its possible.
Where am I going with this stinky business? Well, I just want to let you moms out there know that sometimes stink happens to good moms. Among other things. You’re not alone, and you didn’t mess up. Maybe you’ve whiffed porta potty on yourself once too. I know I’ve whiffed more than that. Some nice mom said to me last week – “I think you have some oatmeal on your collar.”
Oatmeal? Gosh that was tactful of her.
Really, it was a big, crusty clump of dried snot. Not even my own. Oatmeal would have been nice.
But seriously. We mammas need to stick together. Tell each other when we stink, when we have our shorts on backwards and our shirts on inside out. We’re women and we’re moms. We should love each other more. Spread that love, forgiveness and UNDERSTANDING. Yes, be understanding, be loving, be kind. Outwardly. Don’t just think your best-mom-friend looks great, tell her. Tell her its okay to be a mess in public. It’s okay to lose patience. It’s okay to get mad at her minions. And its okay if they cry or have temper tantrums or embarrass her. She’s doing a great job at creating wonderful little people who will undoubtedly grow up to be wonderful big people. Make a mom smile. Give her warm fuzzies. She will remember that feeling all day. I can promise you that.
Below is the picture of the workout I shared the day of the porta-potty-stink. It’s visual proof that moms are experts at rolling with it. So, roll on mammas, and give warm fuzzies. And, yes, I would like you to read the workout and do it 🙂
Okay fiiiine: Here’s the readable version; with translation for Rachel, who now really has no excuse:
20 Pike jumps into squat jumps – Get in push-up position with elbows extended and legs spread a bit wider than hips. Leave hands on the ground and push feet off the ground – legs open in the air. Let them fall back to the ground, landing on feet and spring up into squat position.
Side plank with 5 knee tucks (each side) – Lie on your right side with your legs straight and the left leg stacked directly on top of the right. Bend the right elbow and place it directly under your shoulder. Lift your hips and knees, and hold. If you want to make this harder, go all the way up on an extended elbow. Bend and tuck your left leg up five times, fully bending and extending each time. Repeat on the opposite side.
20 v up roll ups – Lie on your back on the floor with arms by your sides and your legs extended out.
Lift the top half of your body up off the floor, keeping your abdominals tight by having your belly button pulled in towards your spine, and reach out with your hands towards your toes. To roll down, extend your arms above your head and let your legs lift off the floor. As soon as your back touches the floor, perform the v-up: keeping your bellybutton pulled in towards your spine, exhale as you simultaneously raise your legs, arms, and shoulder blades up off the floor, touching your hands to your toes, then inhale as you lower back down to starting position.
5 up down planks – Lie on your stomach with your elbows close to your sides and directly under your shoulders, palms down and fingers facing forward. Engage your abdominal/core muscles. Slowly lift your torso and thighs off the floor or mat. Keep your torso and legs stiff. Holding your body off the floor, place one palm on the floor extending your elbow on that side, follow through with the opposite side, finishing with both elbows extended and palms on the floor. Repeat 5 times on each side.
20 side lunge jumps with opposite touch – From standing position place left leg out to side keeping it straight and bend right knee going down into a side lunge, touch ground with left fingers. From this position jump and switch doing a side lunge on the other side, so that right leg is straight and knee of left leg is bent and touch ground with fingers of right hand.
Side plank with 5 scissors (each side) – Lie on your right side with your legs straight and the left leg stacked directly on top of the right. Bend the right elbow and place it directly under your shoulder. Lift your hips and knees, and hold. If you want to make this harder, go all the way up on an extended elbow. Scissor left forward and back keeping knee extended 5 times. Switch sides and repeat.
20 skiers and 20 tuck jumps – Skier: Stand with your feet together. Jump from side to side, landing with your knees bent. The wider you jump and the lower you squat, the harder you’ll work. Tuck jump: Start with the knees bent slightly, the elbows at 90 degrees at the waist, and bend the knees and sit the butt into a half squat. Jump up straight into the air, and tuck, tucking the knees, aiming for your elbows. Land softly.
5 planks with opposite raises – With your feet out wider than your shoulders, start to get into a push up position, but bend your elbows and rest your weight on your forearms instead of on your hands. Your elbows should be directly under your shoulders. Keep your back straight and engage your core and glutes. Raise your left foot and your right arm off the floor, focusing on holding your hips and torso in place. Switch arms and legs and repeat. Do both sides 5 times.