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Monthly Archives: January 2014

Lost and Found

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Ah, winter workouts. Its been awhile since I posted one for you guys. Sorry about that – it appears that I got off on a few tangents. Two weeks ago I lost my workout notebook. It was this lovely little spiral-bound 3×5 notecard book. I’m pretty sure I lost it somewhere in my kitchen. Which is not exactly cavernous. Nor does it have many crevices or large cracks that such a notebook can fall into. There are no gaping holes. Nothing sucks up anything. There’s no wind. There’s no strange gravitational forces. I’m sure wasn’t incinerated in the oven during one of my many recent beet-roasting afternoons. But I can’t find it. It’s gone. It’s lost.

So, I’ve been using Fitness Blender videos for inspiration. My sister started it, and they’re pretty sweet straightforward videos. I like them. This is the one we did on Monday.

Find the workout here, on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNZe01hqMW8

Just in case the link doesn’t work, it’s on YouTube and here is the specific name:

HIIT Cardio and Abs Workout – 30 Minute At Home HIIT Workout with Abs Exercises

I made one little change, because I am a glutton for challenge. I added another set of ab exercises. So, the format went: Warm up, followed by 8 sets of cardio exercises. Each set was 4 x 20sec on/10sec off. In between each set of cardio we did 2 sets of ab exercises at 50 sec on/10 sec off. I simply repeated the ab exercises shown in the video twice, instead of once. My abs need all the work they can get! Today I’ve got a few sore spots – I like it!

We are also a little over a week into the Burpee-Plank Challenge. So far, so easy! I few things I have learned:

1. It’s not always an awesome idea to invite your husband to share in the plank challenge. I invited mine and his first ever plank in life lasted 2.5 minutes. Bastard. I am SO not texting him any motivation!!!

2. At least one of my friends is a closet cheerleader. My favorite cheer text so far:
Get off the sidewalk, get off the grass! Tina Susak’s coming fast! Look at her plank look, and see her burpee. It’s almost like its her birthday! Sound off: 1,2. Sound off: 3,4. Bring it on down now 1,2,3,4! 1-2! 3-4!

Amazing. And funny. And fun.

3. It’s extra hard to do burpees and run shuttles in between each one. With a toddler chasing you. I bet you could find a toddler to chase you….

4. You might not want to imagine what your butt looks like when you do burpees in the driveway with your backside facing the street. Just in case a neighbor drives by. Don’t imagine it. Just don’t. You will not do your butt justice, I am certain. But if I face the street then the neighbors will see my face as I do them, which I’m sure does not have some lovely serene look on it. Maybe I just shouldn’t do them in the driveway. Sorry neighbors.

I hope all of you are having a grand old-time with your workout challenges, your New Year’s resolutions, your healthy life changes. I know that I feel nearly human again after finally finishing off all those dang Christmas cookies! And my kids are loving the breakfast smoothies 🙂

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And if anyone knows where my notebook went – stop holding out on me. You can’t stop me. I will still come up with workouts!!

New? Different? Better?

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I don’t really do the whole resolution thing. Resolutions make me think of resolving, which makes me think of solving, which makes me think of problems; and generally, I enjoy a good problem solving session, but I do NOT like thinking of my life, or the past year, as a problem to be solved. That is Reason #1 Resolutions ARE Silly.
Think about it. Have you ever had a conversation with any living, awake human being in which he/she contributed his/her newly perfectly perfect, wondrously healthy life to a new year? Like such:

“Yes, thank you. It is true I look/smell/feel amazing.

I no longer drink/smoke/binge eat/steal-food-from-babies hide-food-from-my-husband/drive crazy/pick my nose, my butt or my zits.

I indeed now brush my hair regularly/exercise for 300 minutes daily/only eat kale, chia seeds and eucalyptus leaves/only drink water/remember to apply deodorant/and am in fact competing in the upcoming Sochi Olympics. It is true that I *finally* lost the baby weight, and smile constantly because I feel so damn good, but only blink once a day because, you know – eucalyptus isn’t exactly high in calories. Remember? Slow moving koala bears? Or is that the tree sloth? I don’t know!!!!!

So. Yeah. Life rocks!! Because of my awesome resolution.”

Said no one. EVER.

Nope. I don’t like them. I don’t think they’re a feasible plan of attack. What I do like are beginnings, attempts, trying, starting and challenges. I love a challenge. I love trying something new. Mostly. Some foods just shouldn’t be eaten.

I like new habits too, but let’s be realistic. I kind of have a lot of habits. I don’t have any more room in life for a new one, unless I give up an old one.

Reason #2 Resolutions ARE Silly:

Excuses. For some reason resolutions breed excuses. It’s a mental thing, it has to be. Mankind must inadvertently link the word resolution with the word excuse. Excuses are nasty little things. They’re like having a personal evil villain. An excuse never dies quietly in the night. An excuse must be bashed over the head with something cast iron, shot in the foot, kicked in the balls, smothered in molten Velveeta cheese and pushed into an abyss. Then you must toss a poopy diaper into the abyss for good measure, slam a lid on it and seal with Gorilla Glue. It’s not pretty, but to get rid of an excuse you must murder it.

And let’s differentiate between excuses and reasons. Reasons are reasonable. For example: I haven’t blogged in over a month because it was Christmas. I crazy-love Christmastime. I consider myself part elf. Not to be confused with garden gnome. I’m talking full-on North Pole Elf. Pass me the snow.

In the past 6 weeks I made 35 knock-off sweaty bands, 22 felt door hangings, 14 ornaments, 8 ornament-laden headbands, 7 dozen cookies, 3 infinity scarves, 1 knitted cowl, 2 batches of toffee roca, 3 fleece skirts, 1 very ugly sweater, 1 stocking, 1 table runner and 1 pair of elf shoes. I ran a 10k in the name of Santa and a 5k in the name of misled holiday fashion. I introduced my kids to eggnog, snow ice cream and all things peppermint. We ooohed and aaahed at all the local lights, went ice skating, and sang more carols than a 24-hour choir on meth. We cut down a tree too tall to be measured without special machinery and which I partially decorated while it was held horizontal by my Mountain Man Husband.

WHAT?!?!?

We don’t have a ladder tall enough!

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And that, my friends, is a reason. Sitting on your butt because it’s squishy is not a reason. It’s an excuse.

Enough with the definitions. It’s time for a challenge. I’d like to roll up on 2014 with a little something fun. A little something difficult. The Plank-Burpee Challenge. We’ve heard of the Burpee Challenge and the Plank Challenge. Well, this is both together. Burpees in the morning, planks in the evening. And yes, it will require donning your sports bra first thing in the a.m. But you don’t have to brush your teeth til after breakfast. Because we mothers might be crazy, but we are not illogical.

It goes a little something like this:

Day 1: 1 burpee, 20 seconds of plank (easy peasy!).

Day 2: 2 burpees, 20 sec of plank (piece of cake!!).

Day 3: 3 burpees, 30 seconds of plank (more cake please).

Day 4: 4 burpees, 30 seconds of plank (I’m sorry, I may have misused the word challenge….).

Day 5: 5 burpees, 40 seconds of plank (pish, this is nuthin’)

Burpees increase each day up to 100. Yes, 100 days of burpees. I would never misuse the world challenge! And you can do them with or without the push up – your choice. Planks increase for 30 days up to 300 seconds. Oh yeah, that’s 5 minutes. Aw heck, that’s 5 minutes!

Planks can be on elbows or hands, your choice again. I’m going with push-ups and on my elbows.

I did not come up with either of these challenges myself. The burpee one is a crossfit standard and the plank one comes from 30dayfitnesschallenges.com. Along with their chart:

30-day-plank-challenge-chart

I’m going to start my challenge on Monday morning. Just because I feel like starting that day. I don’t really have a special reason. In order for this challenge to work for me, and possibly you, we must commit to it. What I’m asking you to do is sign-up in the comments below. Join in OFFICIALLY. Let the world know you’re going to try. Otherwise what’s to keep any of us with it? I don’t call this Team Mama because its all about me. Its about helping, supporting and smack-talking one another 🙂

If you’re in, and you’re local to me, let’s start a text chain. You know – a nice little reminder to QUIT SLACKING and get planking/burpee-ing! Happy New Year!!!