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Monthly Archives: January 2015

Morning Mourning

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I hate morning. Screw you, sunrise. I should not get up before the sun gets up. No, I should not. But today I did. And I did not like it.

To all you morning runners out there: How the eff do you do it??? You are superhuman. I want to be superhuman. I am not. I cannot be. What do you have that I don’t??? I am so insanely jealous.
Or are you all just lying?? Trying to sound like running at 5:30a.m. is no big deal. “A great way to start the day!” (insert cheesy thumbs up). There are so many things I hear about running in the morning:
It’s sooo peaceful.
It’s such nice “me” time.
I feel wonderful afterwards.
I just love being able to watch the sunrise.
Conspiracy!! Rumors!! All of them!! Hearsay!! Blech. You are all just plotting against me. What peace? It’s just dark. Dark and peaceful are not the same things. 6 a.m. is CRAPPY “me” time! I am like a zombie!! Literally, I feel like there is no warm blood flowing through my body at 6 a.m. It does not want to move coherently. I miss my bed, my husband, my jammies.

Generally, when I run I feel good. I feel strong and capable. I feel like I have amazing, ripped calf muscles. I want the world to see them!!

But, in the morning it is dark. People are missing out on my calves. Instead their bright headlights are shining right onto my contorted, miserable looking face. Sorry morning commuters, I’m sure this is not a good way to start your drive. When I run at 2p.m., I imagine I look okay. Red-faced and sweaty, but passable. It is clear that what I am doing is running. When I run at 5:30 a.m., my legs and arms and head and neck and butt and toes are confused and unsure where to go. I look like I am trying to stir wet sand with all four limbs and sit down at the same time. Take a minute to picture that picture.

This is why I hate running in the morning. I miss the strong, capable feeling, and I have to mentally overcome the incompetent, slooooooow feeling.

I did not want to get out of bed at 5:30 today.
And yet. I did.
And I hated every second of it.

Biggest. Longest. Deepest SIGH ever.

I am trying to become a morning runner. It might kill me. I kind of want to die when I am cramming a bar into my mouth at 5:30, and again at 5:40 when I put my shoes on, and again at 5:45 when I turn on my headlamp.

But there seem to be some real benefits to running early.
Like, maybe we will have leftovers for dinner because I am too knackered to cook.
That’s a sweet deal.

BUT, I am doing this because it will be good for me. It really will. I want to run in the morning. I really do. I need some more run time, and morning run time is prime run time. I want this!! I want to run in the morning!! ARGH!! Why is it so hard!!? Also, last summer, my 4 a.m. Ragnar leg did me in. I have a conquest to conquer.

I can get better at this, right? I really hope I get used to it. Please, tell me it is possible. Because this is my Year of Speed. I am going to get faster. I vow to get faster. I can do it. I know I can. And if falling out of bed at 5:30a.m. will help it happen, I will fall hard!!

But first, I will Google.
“why run early in the morning?”

I only get one result.

This is not a good sign. And perhaps a Google first.
But, I agree with everything he says. Except: Getting an early start extends your day and allows you to get more done. When you don’t have to deal with fitting in your workout later, you’ll find a lot more time on your hands to deal with your other responsibilities.

Sure, you may have to go to bed earlier, but for many, late night is the least productive time of day anyway, so what are you really losing?

Umm…I am losing sleep. I am often super productive at 10 p.m. Regularly until midnight! Getting an early start does not extend my day, I will just be awake for different hours. Hogwash, Greg! I am not buying what you are selling.

But I want to, so let’s try again. Come on Google….don’t let me down.

“benefits of running early in the morning.”


“If you don’t consider yourself a morning person, the good news is that you can turn yourself into one, says Dr James Mojica, a sleep physician.”

Dr. James Mojica, I have never met you, but you are my new hero. I freaking love you!!!! I love what you are saying!! Say it again!! Say it loud!!!! I want to hear more!!! DO YOU WANNA BE MY NEW ROOMMATE!!!???

Oh this Dr. James Mojica, he is good. He is speaking my language. He even gives morning routine options. And they’re realistic.

This is what’s going to make this work:

1. I have support: My husband is on board. We picked out days that work for our family, and I know I can count on him to enable me to run.

2. I have good company: No way am I ready to run predawn by myself. I know that if I am supposed to meet someone, I won’t let them down. If someone besides me is depending on me, I’ll be there.

3. I have a plan. I am getting up the same days every week, and have routes ready to go. I know where they are, how far they are and how long they take me. I could probably close my eyes and let the dog lead.

Now, the all-knowing Dr. James Mojica says I need a mantra. Something to think as soon as I roll out of bed.

Let’s see….

Get up. Stand up. (too simple. i’ve gotta do more than just stand.)

This is fun! (snort!) (it’s gonna take more than that.)

I’ll sleep when I’m dead! (too morbid, can’t be thinking about death whilst half asleep.)

Get’er done. (forget it, this is not Cow Town.)

Okay. How about this. It’s not necessarily a mantra, but a memory, a familiarity, a comfort zone. For me, happiness is a state of activity. Happiness is moving and running, racing and flying. When running feels good, it feels really good. That feeling, knowing that feeling and seeking that feeling, that’s what keeps me running. Any time of the day. Or night.

O’dark-thirty, here I come.