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Come on Spring! You’re Killing Me.

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I am wistful for Spring. I want to see sunshine around the corner. Yep. I got it bad. Feb. 18 is actually a little early for me to be feeling this way. I quite like cold weather. Usually I am not wanting heat until mid-March. Cold is so much more snuggly than hot weather. I like that. The snuggly bit. I like all the different kinds of snuggly; soft clothes snuggly, knitted hat snuggly, snot-nosed kid snuggly, hands around a hot cuppa snuggly, on the couch with the mister snuggly; all of it I deem wonderful. BUT, not this year. I am ready NOW. Right now!!!!

Why? Well……

It’s Winter Mark. He’s getting to me. In fact, he’s killing me. I might be ready to snap. I might be ready to ship him off, duct taped to his bicycle, to somewhere warm and sunny if it doesn’t get warm and sunny here pronto. If he comes home from work and glares at the crock pot, and then me, one more time, I might…..I might….well, I don’t know. Hurl the white chicken chili at him at the very least.

It’s gotten so bad, I really didn’t want to make him a valentine. See, it is our tradition every year to make valentines. Out of whatever. It is legal to go to the craft store for supplies, but that is it. You can’t actually buy a valentine. It must be handmade. Usually this results in some fantastic valentines. Like one year I got handmade Tibetan prayer flags – with straight from the heart verses on them. Last year I made Mark a bicycle out of hearts. Another year we made Top Ten lists. Hilarious. I totally recommend you stop buying Valentine’s Day gifts and get inventive instead. It is well worth the effort. But this year it was sooo much effort I actually asked if we could exchange valentines a day late. Yes, I did.

Hey! That’s pretty big for someone who keeps a notebook of craft ideas in her back pocket.

So, who is Winter Mark, and why is he so difficult? Well, it is the cold-weather version of my generally lovable husband. He is a cyclist. A cyclist who LOVES hot weather. I mean, he’s practically a heat-seeking missile in spandex. If he can’t spend some time on his bicycle, and a decent amount at that, he gets über cranky. And whilst I may be more of a glass half-full person, he is definitely the opposite. And in the winter he is convinced that not only is the glass half-empty, but it is cracked and leaking. It is only a matter of time before the glass is drained of anything beneficial, and he is about to freeze and wrinkle away in a wet pile of snow. I know this about my husband. I know he needs the sunshine and 90 degrees. I am usually pretty adept at handling this seasonal malfunction of his. I bake, I give extra attention, I plan fun dates, we do everything remotely possible: outside in the cold, in the snow, in the wind, with and without our kids.

But this year, as many of you know, has been a little bit colder than the usual. Cold and frozen enough to keep him off his bike much more. Usually by now he’s had at least a half-dozen bike-cleaning and tuning sessions in the living room to prep for the spring. This year he doesn’t even want to take his bike out in the crud that is all over every street corner. And this reluctance is coming from a man who rode to work in the British weather backwash for 3 years. He is not afraid of dirt and wet and sludge and farm animal detritus. He just wants to pedal hard.

So, Mother Nature, I need a  break and my husband needs a bike ride. Can you ease up on the snow and subzero temps? And I think I am not the only wife feeling this way right now. I have heard from others….be strong ladies, be strong.

This workout below is for anyone suffering from enough winter. Enough for you, enough for your kids, enough for your spouse. Enough is enough! Blow off some steam with this little number, entitled:

Come On Spring!

50 sec. on/10 sec. off (if you’d like to make this harder because you’re an even bigger glutton for punishment than I, plank for your 10 sec. rest)

1. Double crunches: Crunch your knee to your opposite elbow, go back down, and up again; this time hand to opposite toe with a straight leg. Repeat. To make this harder, never let your feet touch the ground.

2. Jumping Burpee: Take one giant double-footed jump forward, then do a burpee with a push up. When you do the final jump on your burpee, make it a tuck jump; bringing your knees up to hit the palms of your hands. Jump two small jumps back. Repeat.

3. Dive bombers. Add a push-up if you need this to be harder. They are in this video at 2:15:

4. Spider-cross push ups: in the same video at 3:25

5. Crab Touch: at 4:20

6. Jump overs: Find a box or a step, place hands on the middle and jump over from side to side keeping your legs together.

7. Elbow to knee step-up:  Step up onto a box or step, bringing your knee up to touch the opposite elbow.

8. Box Leap Frogs: Using the same box or step, stand with one leg on either side. Place your hands in the middle of the box/step and jump forward with both legs (like you’re playing leap-frog over the box)

9. Dips

10: Side plank with toe touch. Choose a side to start on in a side plank position on your hand. Kick your top leg forward and touch your toe with the hand that is not holding you up. Repeat on opposite side after :50.

When I was writing down this workout Winter Grumpersaurus saw the video of Lisa Marie doing the spider push-ups and says, “Are you and your moms going to do THAT?” I told him, yes of course 🙂

So get going!